If you have just searched for some dirty pix of Billy Idol then you can just s** off!

Yes. I’m Eric Idle…the sixth nicest and third tallest of the Pythons.

It is my immense pleasure and privilege to welcome you, Peter, to this website; exquisitely fashioned from the finest vector-based graphics rendered in an astonishing palette of colours and delivered to the safety of your very own home using the modern miracles of electrical energy and time division multiplexing.

Meticulously compiled just for you, Sergei, from over 74,000 years of rare and only slightly soiled material, by that man who wrote that book that was serialised on the telly, this exclusive hand-crafted commemorative website celebrates the slightly award-winning production of Monty Python’s Spamalot…a new musical lovingly ripped off from the 1975 motion picture Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Spamalot is probably the world’s first rip off musical; combining a really famous story or historical event and adding some almost but not quite entirely new songs and background music. Furthermore, advances in technology mean that you, Gervaise, can now see the original 1975 work from which it is drawn in a completely new light. Apparently some of it quite bright.   

Spamalot’s extraordinary journey from page to film to stage has been long and strenuous.  However, I have not been alone. As well as my co-Pythons, I have had along with me a number of Tony award-winning Americans including (our Oscar-Winning) director Mike Nichols and choreographer Casey Nicholaw….and quite a few Brits such as Tim Hatley and Hugh Vanstone.

And so, over the next few minutes or so, Audrey, why not dim the lights, settle back in your luxury leatherette chair, pour yourself a drink, loosen your clothing slightly, adjust your undergarments, let your cursor gently caress the screen, allow your hand to fall carelessly onto your neighbour’s thigh, fumble in the darkness, unclasp...